As you may have noticed in the sporadic nature of my posting and said posts containing tales of travel and change, I've been in quite a period of upheaval the last couple of months. I've had to make a lot of big decisions, and while change isn't always easy- it's good.

To get you a little more in the loop in several direct bullet points before we move into the good craftiness we're all here for:

I'm moving back to the midwest, the Pacific Northwest has been kind to me and I'm already planning to visit in the future, but the midwest is my home in a way and few things can outdo the joy of being close to the family you love and are loved by.
I have ended my 3 1/2 year relationship. This is relevant because this ending became necessary when I realized that while the person I was with wasn't achieving his dreams, neither was I. So here I am, dedicating my life to crafting and the magic I wish to create in my own world, because this is one of the more important things I invest my time and energy in.
Between my mother and dear friend coming to visit and packing up everything I own to move for a second time in the last 4 months, then also sorting through all of my stuff to see what's really worth packing up into the Uhaul and what's not- I have been endlessly scattered and tired. Crafting, in this rare instance, wasn't on the forefront of my mind. Luckily, this is a love that is eternal for me, and just as I've started to get my footing, a shirt waiting in a "to fix" pile shook me out of my tunnel vision and got me back to work, so let's move on to the crafting.

I told myself a while back that I wasn't allowed to buy things I had to fix. Being someone who loves to be a fixer, it was hard to keep myself honest on this. I'm always coming across clothes or projects that are only a few steps away from being so easy for me to use and treasure.

These shirts, however, were not purchased but freely given as I made efforts towards completing a McMenamins passport (a stamp book that includes all the McMenamins restaurants/hotels/bars/spas/and so forth in Oregon and Washington- it has fabulous prizes for completing entire pages of the passport like neat t-shirts). My only problem with these free t-shirts is that I feel abominable in most t-shirts (and not in the fun way like a fierce snow beast).

These shirts have been left for years in some cases. I loved the designs and the memories of the old historic buildings that McMenamins set their locations in, but couldn't wear the t-shirt for more than an hour without feeling gross and frustrated.

I don't get it either, long sleeves don't bother me at all, 3/4 sleeves are perfectly lovely, but put me in a t-shirt and I feel like a cat stuck in a vase.

With all the changes that have been going on I stared down at this shirt with the neat green fabric and cool design, took a big breath, and decided I need to embrace being a fixer. Embrace that I have a good couple of months of fixing things, and honestly a whole life where things will need to be fixed- why not practice and enjoy the fact that I like this kind of work.

So I hacked those stupid sleeves off. Not on just one shirt, but three.

Because let's face it, if I wasn't wearing any of these shirts, and they were all the same design, it would be the same issue for all of them.

And letting go feels great.

I didn't take before pictures of me wearing these shirts because I was vain and hated how I felt in them, but I think the important matter here is that I felt stellar in every single shirt after I made the adjustments.

Before this they were each sad little piles that slowly migrated to the bottom of my shirt stack, becoming forgotten until my last move, where I then moved them in my "to fix" stack that was also left untouched after having shamed myself for trying to fix everything.

Now they're happy and exciting (to me). I wear them without a second thought and they don't just sink to the bottom of piles anymore.

It wasn't just the t-shirts that met my fixer-craving either, I bought a dress while my mother and my friend were in town. This dress had a rather intense (and oddly enough, intentional) split right up the center. Everything else about this dress was perfect, but the split was.... not to my taste.

So I stitched this beautiful, floral dress together by hand and made it into everything I wanted to be wearing, and the time it took to do it was worth it.

I mean.... come on. I know I brutally attacked a floral dress in previous years, but it was ugly and it was a kindness to dye over that hideous pattern.

This is what a floral dress should be. Elegant and gentle, while still being vibrant and self-possessed.

I might be projecting.

All I know is that I'm excited to be getting rid of the things that don't bring anything to my life or are uninspiring to me, and take in all that fuels me forward in this exquisite adventure that lies before me. I don't rightly know what's coming up in the next couple of months, or the next couple of years for that matter, but that's exciting. With the unknown comes endless potential.

The best part of being a fixer is that you're not afraid to change things in order to make them better. I think we all need a little bit of being a fixer in our lives now and then.

Stay sweet, stay crafty, and stay tuned.

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